# Ebook Download Change or Die: The Three Keys to Change at Work and in Life, by Alan Deutschman

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Change or Die: The Three Keys to Change at Work and in Life, by Alan Deutschman

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Change or Die. What if you were given that choice? If you didn't, your time would end soon—a lot sooner than it had to. Could you change when change matters most?

This is the question Alan Deutschman poses in Change or Die, which began as a sensational cover story by the same title for Fast Company. Deutschman concludes that although we all have the ability to change our behavior, we rarely ever do. From patients suffering from heart disease to repeat offenders in the criminal justice system to companies trapped in the mold of unsuccessful business practices, many of us could prevent ominous outcomes by simply changing our mindset.

A powerful book with universal appeal, Change or Die deconstructs and debunks age-old myths about change and empowers us with three critical keys—relate, repeat, and reframe—to help us make important positive changes in our lives. Explaining breakthrough research and progressive ideas from a wide selection of leaders in medicine, science, and business (including Dr. Dean Ornish, Mimi Silbert of the Delancey Street Foundation, Bill Gates, Daniel Boulud, and many others), Deutschman demonstrates how anyone can achieve lasting, revolutionary changes that are positive, attainable, and absolutely vital.

• Sales Rank: #19002 in Books
• Brand: HarperBusiness
• Published on: 2007-12-26
• Released on: 2007-12-26
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 8.00" h x .58" w x 5.31" l, .43 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 256 pages

Features

• Great product!

About the Author

Alan Deutschman is a senior writer at Fast Company and the author of two previous books, The Second Coming of Steve Jobs and A Tale of Two Valleys. He lives in Atlanta, Georgia, with his wife.

From AudioFile
Brian KeelerÕs narration of this cutting-edge advice on change couldnÕt be more enjoyable or impressive. Pausing or quieting his voice for emphasis, he misses no nuance and conveys a natural engagement with the authorÕs analytic writing. After a hard-hitting and succinct introduction, Deutschman systematically explains nine facets of personal change. Integrating findings from a variety of disciplines, his strategies are innovative and seamlessly supported by riveting business stories. His stories and analysis stay close to the heart by encouraging continuous curiosity about the self. Listen and learn how to realistically embrace your realities, find inspiration and support from others, behave consistently with your intentions, and be constantly aware of opportunities for learning and growth. T.W. Winner of AudioFile Earphones Award © AudioFile 2008, Portland, Maine-- Copyright © AudioFile, Portland, Maine

Most helpful customer reviews

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful.
You might not die, but if you don't have that attitude you might not change
By Buboy Magalhaes
I was first attracted to this book when I spotted its stark black and white cover with the simple words "Change or Die". It was enough to get my attention on a flight layover, and I made a note to myself to check out the book when I got home.

I judge a book on if it's able to accomplish what it sets out to do. If it does at least that I'll give it 4 stars. If I feel the author went above and beyond the tour of duty to get his point across, I'll give it 5. That being said, this book is a solid 4, 4 still being very good.

Did this book get the point across that if you don't change you'll die? Actually, yes. The author uses several well-laid out case examples from heart patients to career criminals to demonstrate why change is so important; he also retells his own personal "change or die" story, which lets you know that he doesn't just talk the talk, he also walks the walk. Even though you may not be able to relate to all the people in the book (I am neither a criminal nor a heart patient), he brings their stories close down to a personal level and then details how they each used some version of the 3-steps to change (Relate, Repeat, Reframe) to bring their life and outlook to a new, positive level.

The case studies (stories really), the application of the 3-steps, and the simplicity are really the strong points of the book. I'm not sure if Mr. Deutschman is a psychiatrist or not, but the writing style came across as very down-to-earth and easy to read. It wasn't bogged down in any psycho babble, just 3 steps and how different people applied them to their lives, and the lives of others to change. That's it. Unlike other books covering the topics of change or psychology, it doesn't get cheesy or sugar-coated or cliched, and I was glad for it. This may also be a weakness of the book, since it really wasn't inspirational nor used "go-get-'em" language. That's not say it isn't, it is inspirational in its own way because you get to see how change is possible for even the most ordinary or hopeless situations. But I feel the author could have used a little more enthusiasm in his writing, that's a very minor quibble though.

Another small issue i have with the book, which is purely subjective, is that I wish the author spent a little more time on personal change, or at least gave more examples. There were perhaps 25-30 pages on personal change, and I bought this book expecting more of that. HOwever, I know this book was meant for the topic of change on a personal, corporate, and organizational levels so the author really did cover what he wanted. Hopefully, in the future he'll come out with a follow up dealing solely with the topic of personal change.

Overall, if you are interested in changing yourself, your company, or group, this is a solid book. You can read it in a few days, and not feel overwhelmed with complex psycholiteral language. Instead, there's a lot to learn from the many stories and cases presented here. You really will learn how the 3-steps to change (Relate, Repeat, Reframe) are applied, but it is still up to you to use them.

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
A terrific book
By C. Smyser
If at all possible I purchase the audio CD version of books, and the hard copy of the book as well. Being a frequent traveler, being able to listen to the book gets my creative thought flowing. I then can use the book to drill down on more information as time permits. I found Change Or Die to be a very interesting and helpful book. Being involved in organizational change initiatives, I found the book to provide insights as to why change is difficult, and most often why change initiatives fail before they can bare fruit. The book offers helpful strategies for helping people work through the process of change. Despite the negative statistics that the author cites regarding success rates of change initiatives, I found the book to be very hopeful - in that there are concrete things that we can do to help the change process along. I found the examples that the author uses to be very interesting. The book and the CD is worth multiple readings and listenings.

64 of 66 people found the following review helpful.
One Powerful Book - This should be on the desk of every Entrepreneur, Manager, and CEO
By Dave Lakhani
I liked this book for a number of reasons not the least of which was the way that Deutschman broke down psychological principles and complex social theories into chunks that anyone can use. This books is powerful because it is simple, reinforces the main point, the three R's of change.

Relate, Repeat, Reframe

Those three keys to change will be meaningless outside the context of the book, but they are very powerful principles that Deutschman brings into clear focus for your business and your life. One of the things that really brought this book home for me was the examples that he chose as the models for how the change process works, they were unexpected yet very relevant.

If you've ever wondered how to create real change in your organization or even to achieve a goal like weightloss (as the author did) this book shows you a clear path to success based on sound psychology and solid thinking.

If you've ever set goals you didn't reach or have any significant dream or desire to change something in your life or your business, this book is a handbook that you'll use over and over again. I'm buying it for everyone on my team and in my personal mastermind group.

Dave Lakhani

Author: Persuasion The Art of Getting What You Want and The Power of an Hour Business and Life Mastery In One Hour A Week.

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> Ebook Download Three Nights of Sin, by Anne Mallory

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Three nights of danger . . .

When her brother was arrested for murder, the ton shut its doors to Marietta Winters. No one would help her save him from the gallows—no one but Gabriel Noble. In exchange for taking the case, Gabriel requests three favors from the desperate young beauty, and Marietta has no other choice but to make a deal with the sinfully handsome devil.

Three nights of pleasure . . .

Searching for clues in the rough underbelly of London, Marietta must masquerade as a shamelessly wanton wench—much to Gabriel's delight. But Marietta swears to herself that her passionate moans are just for show. She could never fall in love with such a maddening, arrogant, seductive stranger . . . could she?

Three nights of sin . . .

Night after night, she satisfies his wicked cravings. But soon Gabriel wants more from Marietta than just three nights of sin—and even a sordid secret in his past won't prevent him from trying to possess her forever.

• Sales Rank: #1269709 in Books
• Brand: Mallory, Anne
• Published on: 2008-04-29
• Released on: 2008-04-29
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 6.75" h x .96" w x 4.19" l,
• Binding: Mass Market Paperback
• 384 pages

About the Author

Anne Mallory is a lifelong romance reader who soldher first novel to Avon Books after becoming a finalistin RWA’s Golden Heart contest. In Total Surrender isher eleventh book. A native Michigander, Anne currentlylives in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Most helpful customer reviews

53 of 57 people found the following review helpful.
Great Book! - Forget the cover
By M. L. Kramer
Anne Mallory has written a winner. This is no bodice ripper- I was so put off with the cover I must confess I held little hope for the contents and I could not have been more wrong! This is a compelling, intelligent compilation of primary and secondary characters in a dark story of troubling mystery and love - but don't be confused, this is truly fascinating, different approach to this genre of books. I don't want to give spoilers but suffice to say Gabriel and Marietta are unlike any hero or heroine I have seen in a historical romance in a long, long time - they had me so hooked! This book also has some of the most intensely erotic, beautiful sensuality between well nuanced characters I have read - it is such an essential element of communication in the story. - I can't say enough - excuse me I am leaving to read it again now to refine my experience of the book. This is a keeper for me!

38 of 40 people found the following review helpful.
Fantastic dark and sexy romance from Anne Mallory!
By AndreaW
Marietta Winters is desperate. Her younger brother has been arrested and accused of being the Middlesex murderer. Her older brother is a spendthrift who has reduced the family to dire straits. A family friend recommends she seek out the help of Gabriel Noble, who is well known for helping people, at a price -- 10,000 pounds or three favors. Since Marietta has no money, she has no choice but to choose the three favors. Gabriel also tells her that she will help in the investigation when he requires it. Their investigation draws them closer together and eventually uncovers secrets that Gabriel has never told anyone.

When I pick up an Anne Mallory book, I totally expect a wonderful romance and a great mystery. This book, however, has a fantastic, extremely sexy romance and a superb mystery. The chemistry between Marietta and Gabriel is sizzling, to say the least. I felt like I really knew these characters intimately (as much as they knew each other). And they stayed with me long after I closed the last page. In my eyes, THAT is a sign of a great book. The mystery was outstanding and had me guessing until the villain was revealed. And even then, I was shocked! Simply marvelous. Ms. Mallory's descriptions and settings are so detailed that I felt like I was there in the story. Another sign of a great book -- and in my opinion, this is Ms. Mallory's best book yet! So, if you like dark, sexy, emotional romance, this book is for you. I highly recommend it!

22 of 24 people found the following review helpful.
Absolutely FABULOUS!!!
By Kayla Oler
This is my first time reviewing any book so here goes...I LOVED THIS BOOK!!! You can read the synopsis above so I wont go into it but let me tell you Oh my gosh is this book HOTT! I have been reading romance novels for years and since reading this one I have to go out and get more books by this author. In this book are some of the best characters I have read about in a long time. The hero is gorgeous and an alpha male to be sure but without the arrogance. He has a past and has risen above it and is a success. I loved the heroine. She isnt gorgeous but she has qualities about her that makes you love her and I am so glad that the hero saw past the plain exterior. He wasnt one of those gorgeous men that are full of themselves. It spoke well of them both. She has courage and integrity and a sharp tongue that can cut someone down to size. There is mystery and murder and love scences that are hot. I only keep ones that I have trouble putting down and this will have a permanent spot on my bookshelf. A must read for sure.

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^ Fee Download Mental Floss presents In the Beginning: From Big Hair to the Big Bang, mental_floss presents a Mouthwatering Guide to the Origins of Everyt

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Sure, you know all about the birds and bees. But did Dad ever tell you that it wasn't a stork that put that shiny can opener in your kitchen drawer? Or paperclips started out as proud, Nazi-fighting warriors? And did he tell you how cruise control was originally conceived by a blind genius? From mullets to Silly Putty, lie detectors to karaoke, we've got the true stories behind everything you didn't think had stories. Because if you're looking for answers, In the Beginning is the place to start.

• Sales Rank: #910028 in Books
• Brand: VHACO
• Published on: 2007-11-06
• Released on: 2007-11-06
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 9.25" h x .72" w x 7.38" l, 1.07 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 288 pages

About the Author

Will Pearson and Mangesh Hattikudur met as first year students at Duke University. Ignoring the lures of law school and investment banking, the pair co-founded mental_floss and have been grinning ever since. Maggie Koerth-Baker is a freelance journalist and a former assistant editor at mental_floss magazine, where she consistently astounded Will and Mangesh with her amazingness.

Most helpful customer reviews

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful.
Fun Facts That You May (Never) Use
By DaisyDo
I am surprised that there are not more reviews for this book. This was the first Mental Floss book that I purchased.

If you're someone who has moments when you're doing something and ask yourself "I wonder who invented this?", or "Have people really been using this for a hundred years?" then you'll thoroughly enjoy this book. If you're someone who has a few extra minutes to kill and likes reading short entries with fascinating information that you'll probably never use, then you'll enjoy this book.

One of the major highlights of this book is the humorous slant that it is written in, which can only expected from Mental Floss. There are also sketched drawings throughout the entries. It is, by no means, written like an encyclopedia.

My only complaint is that there is not an index in this book; instead, it broken into "chapters" which are listed in the front of the book. These chapters include***:

"Arts and Literature": From Shakespeare to Jazz.
"Bad Stuff": Mythical Creatures, Drugs, Epidemics, and more fun/depressing things.
"Fashion and Beauty": From the basics like Soap and Lotion to Hairstyles and Swimsuits.
"Food and Drink": From what eat like Pasta and Gum to the Dishwasher and Toaster.
"Fun and Games": From Boardgames to Roller coasters.
"Government, Law, and Money": From the Royal Family to Taxes and Coupons.
"Pop Culture": Batman and beyond! (Sorry I couldn't help myself, hehe.)
"Romance": Why do we get married? Who invented breast implant?
"Science and Medicine": The Big Bang, Flight, Prosthetics, Electroshock, Organ Transplants, oh my!
"Spinning the Globe": Increase your knowledge of foreign affairs (and how they got that way)!
"Traditions": Religion to Holidays.
"Useful Stuff": From the Wheel (how stereotypical) to air-conditioning, traffic lights, scissors, and even staples.

***I did not list all the entries of the chapters, but listed a few to give you an idea of what they included. There are plenty more entries in the chapters, but I do not have the time nor the patience to type them all out and doubt you have the patience to read them.

All in all, this is a great addition to anyone's bookshelf.

13 of 15 people found the following review helpful.
More fun and interesting facts from "Mental Floss"
By Pugmom
"Mental Floss" has done it again- provided a book of fascinating trivia written with their witty and often laugh-out-loud trademark humor. The topic this time is beginnings- or the history and origins of many different things. The entries are divided into chapters, which are as follows: Arts and Literature; Bad Stuff (epidemics, evil creatures, karaoke); Fashion and Beauty; Food and Drink; Fun and Games; Government, Law and Money; Pop Culture; Romance; Science and Medicine; Spinning the Globe (culture and places); Traditions; and Useful Stuff (inventions). Each entry is about one page long. Some of my favorites were the histories of dogs, cats, and guinea pigs (which surprised me) and Aerobics (no, it didn't start with Jane Fonda).
A must have for the trivia lover or fan of other "Mental Floss" publications.

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Great but not their best
By Erica H
I've been reading Mental Floss magazine for years and own many of their books. This is probably my least favorite. It's got great information but seems to lack the wit and humor that their known for. I'd recommend it if you are a big fan of mental floss, but if not, I'd suggest you start with one of their other books!

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In an eye-opening exploration of contemporary American manhood, Guy Garcia’s The Decline of Men shows how men are struggling to redefine what being a man means in today’s world. Packed with startling statistics, informed by pop culture, and narrated in the entertaining style for which Guy Garcia is known, The Decline of Men sheds light on a problem that has wreaked havoc on the American family and urges men and women to look past the gender wars to address this national emergency together.

• Sales Rank: #1415995 in Books
• Published on: 2008-10-07
• Released on: 2008-10-07
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 9.00" h x 1.05" w x 6.00" l, 1.17 pounds
• Binding: Hardcover
• 320 pages

From Publishers Weekly
Garcia (The New Mainstream) explores disturbing trends of men leading increasingly socially isolated lives and dropping out of high school and college in record numbers, naming them victims of an invisible epidemic. According to the author, modern men have failed to forge a new and productive role in the 21st century. Garcia charts the rise of feminism and the changing societal roles of both men and women, illustrating how and why men have become so confused about what defines masculinity; having lost their traditional role as provider and protector, men flirt with hollow substitute identities—drawing on Jackass culture (men pretending to be boys), gangster culture (boys pretending to be men) and metrosexual obsessions with grooming and body image—that have reductively redefined manhood and led men away from compassion, responsibility and family. Garcia wisely avoids degrading feminism or pitting men against women; instead, he offers an astute and well-researched meditation on how men might reclaim their identity and place in modern America and why such a transformation is important to future generations of both men and women. (Oct.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From the Back Cover

• Why are so many of today's supermen superclueless?

• Why are so many ambitious young women unable to find boyfriends as successful and independent as they are?

• Why do so many men prefer the escapist digitized world of SPIKE TV, Jackass, and Grand Theft Auto to the reality of their own lives?

In an eye-opening exploration of contemporary American manhood, The Decline of Men shows how men are struggling to redefine what being a man means in today's world. Their confusion has led to rampant male malaise, which has left many men feeling alienated and disconnected. Unable to communicate their frustrated thoughts or emotions effectively, too many guys are slacking off and opting out of their manly obligations, producing an entire generation of men who are ditching their own potential and failing the moms, wives, and girlfriends who love them.

The Decline of Men is a wake-up call to this distressing state of affairs. As award-winning journalist Guy Garcia reports, rather than working hard to achieve top grades or a promotion at work, too many American males squander their energy tracking their fantasy football league scores or mastering the latest video game. Men drop out of school at a far higher rate than women and are far likelier to die early because of poor health habits. Even the male Y chromosome is said to be at risk of disappearing altogether one day.

Packed with startling statistics, informed by pop culture, and narrated in the entertaining style for which Guy Garcia is known, The Decline of Men sheds light on a problem that has wreaked havoc on the American family and urges men and women to look past the gender wars to address this national emergency together.

About the Author

Guy Garcia was a staff writer at Time magazine for thirteen years. The author of Skin Deep and Obsidian Sky, he is also the founding editor of the urban website TotalNewYork.com. More recently, he has worked on the development of AOL Latin America, AOL International, and AOL Music.

Most helpful customer reviews

111 of 126 people found the following review helpful.
Garcia: Men are the new women
By Brendan Ross
This is a rather disingenuous book. While Garcia does a fairly good job of outlining how men are underperforming relative to women in various ways in contemporary American society -- something which seems to be positive to men, in terms of bringing light to the issue -- his proposed solution to this perceived "decline" is breathtakingly anti-male: men need to redefine what they feel is appropriately "masculine" by becoming more feminine. Essentially, this book is a call for the feminization of men by replacing the substantive content of the word "masculine" with items that are now under the rubric "feminine". Far from being a pro-men book, this is really an exercise in 3.5 wave feminism: now that second and third wave feminism have redefined what is acceptably "feminine", it's time to redefine, for men, what is acceptably "masculine", even if men are not clamoring for this, as women clamored to redefine their own identities. This is essentially a feminist book, clothed in the language of men -- which makes it rather subversive and disingenuous.

For Garcia, the continued decline of men relative to women is irreversible and inevitable. Our only option, as men, is to accept this, and to basically get over it, and get on with our future as the second sex, with much of our masculinity replaced by so-called feminine behaviors, ideas and values -- because it is inevitable that women will be the dominant gender very soon in the United States. For Garcia, men need a "12 Step Program", basically so that we can get over our disease of being unfeminized men, and accept our inevitable feminized male destiny. This pathologizing of masculinity is astonishingly anti-male, but I'm sure that feminist writers would agree with Garcia that men are all basically like alcoholics in being addicted to their masculinity and powerless to overcome their reluctance to embrace feminine traits, values and behaviors.

Of course, all of this is misguided nonsense. Garcia takes a few shots at the more radical feminist writers, but takes great pains to repeat the mantra that men should not blame women for their relative decline. It's fair enough that not all women are to blame, as they are as diverse a group as any. But the feminist revolution, with its disproportionate impact on education in particular, has systematically disadvantaged boys, while the family law system has created a widespread incidence of boys being raised solely by women. Neither of these developments is immutable, and both must be addressed seriously if there is to be any kind of real gender equity as we move forward. Garcia notes these issues, of course, but his solution for men to change their self identity would not solve them -- boys *are* different from girls, they learn differently from girls, and they *are* being systematically messed up by the educational system -- talking to a 7 year old boy about getting in touch with his inner female and embracing a more gender-holistic self definition will not help him in the least, nor will it help the millions of American fathers who are screwed by the family court system, which has been itself heavily influenced by radical feminism. So, sure, we shouldn't blame women collectively -- but *some* women *are* to blame for what has happened, by their short-sightedness about the broader implications of changes they advocated on behalf of women, and, in some cases, by their hatred for men and their disregard for boys and so forth. That's where the blame lies.

As for the way forward, it certainly isn't for men to redefine masculinity to be more feminine. The way forward is, first, to change the institutional favoring of girls and women -- because it isn't needed, and if it isn't changed, it will very soon become a favoring of the gender that is out performing -- which makes no sense. The next step is for men and women to truly appreciate their differences more effectively. Here, again, feminism -- with its rhetoric of female superiority to men -- has to take the blame for creating attitudes of disdain and distrust between men and women. The path forward isn't a retreat to the 1950s and its rigid gender roles. But it also isn't to be found in a move towards more feminized men and masculinized women -- men and women need to rediscover a way to appreciate the fascinating, tantalizing and alluring differences between each other, and how these provide the creative tension that moves our species forward. We don't need to mush ourselves together into some kind of individualized, androgynous identity. At the end of the day, this really isn't what either men *or* women (at least women who are not radical feminists) want, or need.

So while this is an interesting read for its broad coverage of the current problems facing American men, in my opinion, it is fundamentally and fatally flawed in its prescriptions for the future. If you're interested in these kinds of issues, Kathleen Parker's new book, "Save the Males" is an entertaining read, with less specific prescriptions, but a better understanding, in my opinion, of what is needed, and what is not.

47 of 56 people found the following review helpful.
Term-paperish chronicle of male decline but doesn't say why -- I say why
By Thomas W. Sulcer
The provocative title caught my attention, but while reading I kept hunting for explanations about why men are declining. Why do women out-compete men in the workplace? His book is a fairly well documented term paper chronicling this problem from different angles (popular media, voting patterns, college attendance, etc) but he doesn't explain WHY men are declining and I will try shortly.

He notes the growing consumer power of women who realize "we just don't need men anymore". Women are learning to be financially independent. There are signs everywhere of the rise of women and the fall of men. In the last presidential election, as we're all aware, a woman candidate narrowly missed a shot at the top job. Powerful female executives seem to be more prevalent.

In my view, the pattern of male decline is one part of a much broader set of issues. The decline of men is not THE problem but only one problem wrapped up with many others, some of which are larger and thornier (e.g. decline of democracy, breakdown of citizenship, fallout from technological change). Marriage, itself, is on the decline, as individualism and personal choice undermine the shared sacrifice necessary to make marriages work. Birth control and abortion rights have undermined the classic marriage bargain of exchanging sex for a commitment. This was a kind of glue that encouraged both men (wanting sex) and women (wanting status and children) to marry. But today sex is possible without commitment, and women can achieve status without men. And competitive pressures have made it mandatory for all adults today to work, and this has brought women of all ages into a highly competitive workplace. There is terrific freedom for individuals but at the expense of families which are struggling.

So the prospect of marrying, seen through the eyes of a single woman considering tying the knot, is much less attractive today than in the 1920s or 1950s. Marrying doesn't mean an increase in status as before, but it often means downgrading her lifestyle as well as ending a chance for a variety of future sexual partners, and settling for a less robust lifestyle particularly if babies come along. Child rearing expense = $250K before college, according to a Wall Street Journal report a while back. So, why marry? Many single women opt out.

Generally I agree with the author when chronicling statistics pointing to a trend of downward mobility for men. The evidence is considerable. And I agree with another reviewer who criticized Mr. Garcia for insisting men become more like women, but I lack alternative strategies here.

But why do men have trouble competing with women in a typical Fortune 500 company? I have a working theory drawn partly from personal experience as well as extensive reading. I think men have a natural drive which equates competing and work with physical force and aggressiveness. For men, competing is scaled-down fist-fighting -- it's physical, intense, rough and tumble. In an all-male company, there would be no problem -- men would jostle for the top posts, kid each other, joust and achieve hierarchies of respect based on skill and smarts and physical presence. And there are long traditions of aggressive rivalry from our genetic past, from hunting, fighting in a war, building commercial enterprises.

But when women become colleagues and competitors too, there is a powerful shut-down mechanism at work -- because men have been conditioned over centuries NOT to hurt women, NOT to physically attack them. So this new situation is confusing. Should we all-out compete or play gentle? With women in the mix, the game is NO LONGER physical and fierce and fun but dwindles into a boring tea party. And the natural male impulse to punch, kick, out-compete runs smack dab into this powerful countervailing impulse to protect women, and the result is male shut-down.

I loved after school touch football with my buddies until a girl showed up one day wanting to play. Instantly the game was downgraded into something less fun. Playing rough and possibly hurting this girl was out of the question -- there are strong drives within all men to protect women, to be gentle, and men who hurt women have in the past been shunned, punished, killed. So we tried to play for a little while with this girl but our hearts weren't in this game. Luckily she left; but in the corporate world, women don't leave. And I think to varying extents this same problem is repeated in board rooms, in businesses, in newsrooms, on college campuses -- women seem to be everywhere, and men want to drop out.

I sometimes imagine a world where marriage worked for most people, although my cynical side suggests there has never been such a place. But wasn't there a time when each sex had it's own turf -- men in the work world, women in the home world? Each sex dominated its world, understood its rules. They separated during the day (and separating added an element of mystery) and rejoined at night. Clearly, this has broken down, and in many ways, there is much more freedom than in the past -- freedom to get out of a bad marriage, to find personal happiness, but the breakdown in the structure sometimes makes it harder to find love and form families.

There's a huge loss of respect when both sexes compete as equals in a company. Women see men are vulnerable, imperfect, flawed creatures not much different from them. They have to look at men this way to have a competitive edge. Any mystery has vanished. As a result, mens' status has dropped from breadwinner to co-competitor. It's a big plunge into nothingness, and I think men as a sex have collectively lost prestige. Women don't send signals-of-respect to men as much as before since much of this respect has evaporated -- and when men don't get these signals, there's no sense flirting, risking rejection. We retreat to our caves where our manhood and self-image are affirmed in video games or drugs or World War II reruns. Working for a female boss can be the ultimate downer, for she's somebody you can't punch if you're angry, but who can criticize you, judge you, fire you -- in such a situation, many men decide it's time to leave the firm. And women are much more adept at reading people emotionally -- their steady conversation is a competitive edge helping them to get inside peoples' minds -- but men are not genetically predisposed to respond appropriately to this amount of conversation. Men need a new mindset -- some way to keep competing while disregarding the negative signals. Many seek out professions where men still have an edge (lawyers, handymen, firefighters). It's tough today.

American men seeking marriage but having trouble connecting with independent-minded American women should consider dating foreign women, particularly from cultures which value marriage and families. Fly to the Philippines, for example, and stay there a month or two. Philippine women are beautiful, smart, like American men, value families, send the right signals, and will make you forget quickly any uppity high-maintenance arrogant American women you've had bad luck to bump elbows with.

Overall, a semi-competent book with an intriguing title that chronicles an important problem but which doesn't dig deep enough into the psychology of male-female relations underlying this problem. And it's wrapped up with bigger problems that need further exploration.

Thomas W. Sulcer
author of "Dating and mating in the twenty tens"
(google title + Sulcer)

60 of 73 people found the following review helpful.
Just another insulting Man bashing book written for females!
By BRS
It is disheartening that a man wrote this to appeal to a female audience who always want to read about why they can't find a man who meets their impossibly high expectations, or who is subservient to their modern independent lifestyle.

As a man in America today I am constantly being told that natural male behaviour is unacceptable. I see females all over the TV beating up men; I am only allowed to pursue females only on their politically correct terms. If I were stupid enough to get married she has too much power to file for divorce and ruin me financially. At school and at work I see more effort invested in making sure females advance and succeed without equal attention given to males.

Our society and women have basically said to us that men are disposable, that we don't matter as much as we used to. Now why the hell should I work hard for women who don't appreciate you? And also, I see a lot of negative and destructive behaviour coming from females (Britney Spears, Paris Hilton etc) Why aren't their just as many books written about female shortcomings?

We are tired of the male bashing. The author should be a little more balanced in assigning blame, and insist women change some of their behaviours!

See all 20 customer reviews...

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Walking many miles to school in the dusty road, young Coretta Scott knew the unfairness of life in the segregated south. A yearning for equality began to grow. Together with Martin Luther King, Jr., she gave birth to a vision of change through nonviolent protest. It was the beginning of a journey—with dreams of freedom for all.

• Sales Rank: #286546 in Books
• Published on: 2011-12-27
• Released on: 2011-12-27
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 12.00" h x .0" w x 9.00" l, .40 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 32 pages

From School Library Journal
Starred Review. Grade 4–9—Poetic language paired with powerful images makes this biography/history of the Civil Rights Movement a moving, provocative read-aloud. Young Coretta and her siblings solemnly "walked all/of five miles to/the nearest colored school/in the darkness/with the dew dampening/their feet." A close-up of the stoic children as the "white school bus/left a/funnel of dust/on their faces" reveals the hurt they already knew. The peaceful, prayerful profiles of Coretta and Martin juxtaposed against a stained-glass church window provide a soothing contrast—"they prayed together/found joy/and were married." Later came the sit-ins and the marches; "hundreds then thousands/white and black/marched/in Alabama/Carolina/Georgia/and Chicago." Until "a quarter of a million at the March on Washington/peacefully singing 'we shall overcome'/and listening to the words/that would inspire a nation." A bird's-eye view of the crowd looks like a garden of flowers surrounding the Reflecting Pool. Yet, despite the song and solidarity, "things nature never intended/a child to see/haunted them…." The book ends with several spreads of marchers and singers accompanied by an excerpt from the traditional gospel song "Ain't Gonna Let Nobody Turn Me Round." Nelson's stirring oil paintings on plywood are all full-spread with large, easy-to-share images. An author's note provides a summary of the subject's life and of the Civil Rights Movement, though there are no credits or references to the songs. Every library will want copies of this lyrical tribute to an elegant woman and the era she represents.—Barbara Auerbach, New York City Public Schools
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist
*Starred Review* Unflinching verse and elegant imagery combine in a powerful, evocative, picture-book portrait of Coretta Scott King. As stated on the cover, Shange uses poetry to recount Coretta Scott’s life, from her childhood to her marriage with Martin Luther King, Jr. On the final page, the author offers a linear, prose biography, adding context to her more abstract references in the poetry. Omitting punctuation and capitalization, Shange assembles her simple words into a whole that reflects both the facts of Scott’s story and her humanity. Nelson’s accompanying paintings are luminous and reverent, and as much as they recall his distinct style in books such as Carole Boston Weatherford’s Moses: When Harriet Tubman Led Her People to Freedom (2006), there is something of Norman Rockwell here, too, in the straightforward compositions and profound dignity of the American spirit on display. Concise back matter notwithstanding, this is not a biography of fact and reporting. Instead, poet and painter have joined forces to offer an indelible, emotional expression of the strength, beauty, and joy of one woman’s character. Grades K-3. --Thom Barthelmess

Review
“Poetic language paired with powerful images make this biography/history of the Civil Rights Movement a moving, provacative read–aloud. Every library will want copies of this lyrical tribute to an elegant woman and the era she represents.” (School Library Journal (starred review))

“Nelson’s jacket portrait, monumental and tender at the same time, sets the tone for this intimate picture biography. Shange’s rhythmic lines and formal syntax roll like waves carrying readers on a soul–stirring ride through Coretta’s coming of age in the Civil Rights Movement.” (Publishers Weekly (starred review))

“Poet and painter have joined forces to offer an indelible, emotional expression of the strength, beauty, and joy of one woman’s character.” (Booklist (starred review))

Most helpful customer reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Sing a Poem of the Dream
By a gentle sound
Now what makes this book unique is that it carries the sound of poem, spiritual, song as one might associate with this woman that stood and held the hand of a leader, two people together taking on a journey to place we can call today a Promised Land. A place where dreams are born into being.
It tells in a hushed calm about where she started, Coretta who loved to sing, and then like a brush might sweep across a canvas, it crosses us over, over into a kind of melodic telling of our national prayer. One that speaks of better days, all children at a table, concern, caring and mighty truths. A hope that all people might one day enjoy the prosperity and the chance as well as the reality of a fair opportunity to exist in a country that wrote creeds this way, creeds it often does not fulfill, not yet, not without struggle, strife and difficulty. Born in the darkness and beauty of a people that built a great nation. But a people that it kept down, who in turn kept it moving forward, in part because of woman like Coretta Scott.

The book is beautifully, largely, inspiring, and boldly illustrated with pictures that do remind me of the WPA and that so fits, that illustrated, painted style fits the telling of this poem. Nothing better would carry the feel of the artists than those of that time in the last century who raised the awareness of the necessity of the arts, the power of the arts, and the potential of the arts to speak in the ways of the heart path. Especially in a time of need. Like this time. Of the soul journey. As song does waft to form into our being the music of being heard.

I hate to tred my path alone, so I will share two personal responses to this book. The first involves my own mother. My mother became involved with the issues of treating others fairly and in my youth, in the 1960's onward she connected with the NAACP among other groups. At some point in West Virginia she shared a lunch or maybe two luncheons, as she is correcting me, with Mrs. King. Coming home the first time (and I would date this to the early 80's) I recall her talking to me of Mrs. King's courage, calm, solid determination, thoughtfulness in answering her. She could have left the national stage, raised her children, remarried, she could have and many would have been afraid, locked herself in fear, and wisely chosen to be outside the fray anymore, she had given enough. But to know her, or to meet her, is to meet the mettle of this couple. Neither stepped away. Both went where they were asked to go, asked to fight for justice. It is exactly what it is. The content of their character. And no one could miss that. My mother related this clearly, and handed me an autographed book that she treasured getting. For me. I recall her telling me that she felt Mrs. King like a rock. I believe this was how she might have functioned for her family. As the ground we walk and tread, knowing a path and a way. I read her auto-biography a powerful, inspiring work. It helped me to build my being. The one part of me that teaches in poverty areas and must constantly each day bring a sincere understanding to the work I do, and a worthwhile heart as well. This book too, honors that.

The second thing I might share is the reaction today to reading this to my students. It is not a long text. They were reverent, hush, calm. They recognized places like the Washington Monument. They connected through recent events at the Inaugural and our reading about President Obama and Dr. King. They felt value in the words. They understood notions of separate schools and how we are traveling on a road ever working to be more just. To improve upon the past. They saw the idea of "process" and "progress." And how do I know? They told me these things. They had an understanding that the spouse of a leader like Dr. King must be dedicated and indeed spun of cloth very valuable and precious.

So, I think, if you would give this to a classroom, to a library, to a school, to a student, you have done a very good thing, it will aid in the work we are really here to do.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
A must-buy for every primary school library
By CC
This is one of the BEST read-alouds for parents, teachers and librarians. The pictures are magnificent, and I have read this to my 2nd, 3rd and 4th Grade classes over the past two weeks, for MLK day. A beautiful companion to "Martin's Big Words," as the pictures complement each other. Highly recommended!

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Coretta Scott
By Ericka
The purpose of this book being purchased was for my girls to form a connection with the past history and tie it into the now. This book was awesome the illustrations was fascinating, as well as the poetry.

However, this day and time I feel the word chose of N*** could have been substituted. Although it is history. I felt offended.
arrival was great

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^ Download Ebook Warriors: Warrior's Refuge, by Erin Hunter, Dan Jolley

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Graystripe and Millie's journey to find ThunderClan has only just begun when the pair is faced with a series of obstacles that seem insurmountable. Getting out of Twolegplace alive isn't nearly as simple as expected, and Millie's unfamiliarity with life in the wild makes it a challenge for Graystripe to keep them both moving forward. But just when a temporary refuge is in sight, conflict with a tribe of barn cats threatens to break the travelers apart for good!

• Sales Rank: #478610 in Books
• Brand: Tokyopop
• Published on: 2007-12-26
• Released on: 2007-12-26
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 7.50" h x 5.00" w x .50" l, 1.10 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 112 pages

From School Library Journal
Grade 5 Up–Erin Hunter's Warriors series (HarperCollins) gets a manga-style treatment in this addition to the series. What makes it different from other prose-to-comics adaptations is that it isn't a straight translation but rather an entirely new story line that expands on the prose novels rather than merely supplementing them. Tough and wise Graystripe has befriended the now-liberated Millie and the two are searching for Graystripe's old allies, the ThunderClan. After braving a highway and escaping some monstrous farm machinery, the felines take refuge in a barn, only to find other cats already living there. The current residents are wary of them, as the situation is tense. The owners have no love for cats and their dogs make the barn dwellers virtual prisoners. Predictably, Graystripe and Millie win over both the humans and cats, but the resolution is actually the book's high point: through Millie's bravery, readers discover that the dogs aren't cruel–they just like to chase cats. The artwork is merely competent and the story (which was not written by Hunter) is slight, but fans of the novels and cat stories in general will be drawn to it. While the majority of the lettering is done in the standard comics all-caps style, whenever humans are speaking the font becomes scratchy and aggressive. While this appears to be a deliberate choice to accentuate the humans' villain role, it is retained even after they befriend the cats, and is especially odd when a toddler is speaking.–Douglas P. Davey, Halton Hills Public Library, Ontario, Canada
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review
"A suspenseful adventure that urges readers onward."

About the Author

Erin Hunter is inspired by a love of cats and a fascination with the ferocity of the natural world. In addition to having great respect for nature in all its forms, Erin enjoys creating rich mythical explanations for animal behavior. She is also the author of the bestselling Seekers and Survivors series.

Most helpful customer reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
even better than the first manga
By Archer
I love the Warriors series and the manga books are a great addition. Sure, it is a quick read, but it isn't all about the text. if you take the time to really enjoy the pictures, you will come away satisfied.

Millie and Graystripe are so cute together!

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Excellent Companion to the Books
By OneMoreThing
These manga books augment the popular novels and explain a little bit of what happened between the end of The New Prophecy series and The Power of Three books. Graystripe is a wonderful cat who was last seen by his warrior friends in the old forest as he was being driven off in the belly of one of the twolegs' monsters. Warrior's Refuge is the second of three books that tell what happened to him after that.

The manga remains very true to the essence of the characters fans of the series know. It also delivers the drama and suspense of the Erin Hunter books with the added bonus of gorgeous artwork. The drawings are ingenious. Just how one would picture Graystripe.

My son, a second-grader at the time, read each of these books in a day. He enjoyed them very much, and we both highly recommend them. I suggest buying all three at once. They "read" faster than we expected, and we both wanted to get right into the next one.

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
My niece and I love these books.
By Anne Mizera
I was turned on to these books after reading the earlier (non-manga) Warriors books. My 6 year old niece loves to read, but the other Warriors book are a bit much for her at her age. I bought one copy of each of the two manga Warriors books published so far. One copy was for the local library (where I work) to share them with the kids there. The other copy was for my niece. She's really enjoying them. This is a great way to further encourage her love of reading. Plus, we both read them so we have a shared interest.

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## Download PDF Gone, Baby, Gone: A Novel (Patrick Kenzie and Angela Gennaro Series), by Dennis Lehane

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“Powerful and raw, harrowing, and unsentimental.”

—Washington Post Book World

 

“Chilling, completely credible….[An] absolutely gripping story.”

—Chicago Tribune

 

“Mr. Lehane delivers big time.”
—Wall Street Journal

 

In Gone, Baby, Gone, the master of the new noir, New York Times bestselling author Dennis Lehane (Mystic River, Shutter Island), vividly captures the complex beauty and darkness of working-class Boston. A gripping, deeply evocative thriller about the devastating secrets surrounding a little girl lost, featuring the popular detective team of Patrick Kenzie and Angela Gennaro, Gone, Baby, Gone was the basis for the critically acclaimed motion picture directed by Ben Affleck and starring Casey Affleck, Ed Harris, and Morgan Freeman.

• Sales Rank: #31631 in Books
• Brand: Lehane, Dennis
• Published on: 2010-09-07
• Released on: 2010-09-07
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 8.00" h x 1.05" w x 5.31" l, .77 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 464 pages

Amazon.com Review
Cheese Olamon, "a six-foot-two, four-hundred-and-thirty-pound yellow-haired Scandinavian who'd somehow arrived at the misconception he was black," is telling his old grammar school friends Patrick Kenzie and Angie Gennaro why they have to convince another mutual chum, the gun dealer Bubba Rugowski, that Cheese didn't try to have him killed. "You let Bubba know I'm clean when it comes to what happened to him. You want me alive. Okay? Without me, that girl will be gone. Gone-gone. You understand? Gone, baby, gone." Of all the chilling, completely credible scenes of sadness, destruction, and betrayal in Dennis Lehane's fourth and very possibly best book about Kenzie and Gennaro, this moment stands out because it captures in a few pages the essence of Lehane's success.

Private detectives Kenzie and Gennaro, who live in the same working-class Dorchester neighborhood of Boston where they grew up, have gone to visit drug dealer Cheese in prison because they think he's involved in the kidnapping of 4-year-old Amanda McCready. Without sentimentalizing the grotesque figure of Cheese, Lehane tells us enough about his past to make us understand why he and the two detectives might share enough trust to possibly save a child's life when all the best efforts of traditional law enforcement have failed. By putting Kenzie and Gennaro just to one side of the law (but not totally outside; they have several cop friends, a very important part of the story), Lehane adds depth and edge to traditional genre relationships. The lifelong love affair between Kenzie and Gennaro--interrupted by her marriage to his best friend--is another perfectly controlled element that grows and changes as we watch. Surrounded by dead, abused, and missing children, Kenzie mourns and rages while Gennaro longs for one of her own. So the choices made by both of them in the final pages of this absolutely gripping story have the inevitability of life and the dazzling beauty of art.

Other Kenzie/Gennaro books available in paperback: Darkness, Take My Hand, A Drink Before the War, Sacred. --Dick Adler

From Publishers Weekly
Vanished, in this complex and unsettling fourth case for PIs Patrick Kenzie and Angie Gennaro (after Sacred, 1997) is four-year-old Amanda McCready, taken one night from her apartment in Dorchester, a working-class section of Boston, where her mother had left her alone. Kenzie and Gennaro, hired by the child's aunt and uncle, join in an unlikely alliance with Remy Broussard and Nick Raftopoulos, known as Poole, the two cops with the department's Crimes Against Children squad who are assigned to the case. In tracing the history of Amanda's neglectful mother, whose past involved her with a drug lord and his minions, the foursome quickly find themselves tangling with Boston's crime underworld and involved in what appears to be a coup among criminals. Lehane develops plenty of tension between various pairs of parties: the good guys looking for Amanda and the bad guys who may know where she is; the two PIs and the two cops; various police and federal agencies; opposing camps in the underworld; and Patrick and Angie, who are lovers as well as business partners. All is delivered with abundant violence?e.g., bloated and mutilated corpses; gangland executions; shoot-outs with weapons of prodigious firepower; descriptions of sexual abuse of small children; threats of rape and murder?that serves to make Amanda's likely fate all the more chilling. Lehane tackles corruption in many forms as he brings his complicated plot to its satisfying resolution, at the same time leaving readers to ponder moral questions about social and individual responsibility long after the last page is turned. Author tour.
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal
This fourth entry in Lehane's series featuring Boston PIs Patrick Kenzie and Angela Gennaro has all the makings of a successful mystery: suspenseful plotting, effective dialog, strong characterization, realistic setting, and themes that are bound to hold the reader's attention, e.g., child neglect, abuse, and kidnapping. Moreover, it asks the sort of moral question that moves it beyond the boundaries of its purported genre into the realm of serious fiction. Unfortunately, narrator Robert Lawrence provides a reading that greatly mars the story's impact. His narration is generally uninvolved and poorly paced, as if he'd been set on automatic pilot. And while he adopts different voices for the various characters, they are often mismatched and sound more like caricatures. Occasionally he is right on target but not often enough to redeem this audio version of an otherwise fine novel. Not recommended.?Sister M. Anna Falbo CSSF, Villa Maria Coll. Lib., Buffalo, NY
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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130 of 136 people found the following review helpful.
Don't Read This Book....
By tdeal11
This fourth book in this great series is Lehane's best one yet. The ending is very thought provoking and will stay with you for awhile. One very important piece of information is NOT to read this book if you haven't read the previous three. Information is disclosed that gives away the endings of some of the previous novels so they work best when read in order. Believe me when I say you'll want to read all of them.

61 of 64 people found the following review helpful.
One of the best books in this series
By Craig Larson
Gone, Baby, Gone is one of Lehane's best Kenzie/Gennaro books, even though its subject matter, the kidnapping and abuse of children, isn't particularly sunny. Patrick and Angela are called on to investigate the disappearance of four-year-old Amanda McCready, who lives with an awful, distracted, zero of a mother. Her inattention to her daughter and her needs is painted so vividly that it is easy to hope that, wherever she is, Amanda's life is somehow better. This disappearance leads the detectives into a morass of drug dealers and pedophiles and crooked police.
Ultimately, it all leads to a gripping, heart-breaking climax that is pretty much a no-win situation for all involved. Sure, there are some contrivances in the plot that bring us to this point--as other reviewers have pointed out--but this is still one heck of a powerful book, with vivid characters and a real sense of setting and community. We can see how the neighborhood gives birth to monsters like Cheese Olamon and Angie's and Patrick's "friend" Bubba, while others choose another route for their lives. This is a step up from the previous book, Sacred, and shows Lehane getting ready for the powerhouse book to come, Mystic River.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
I love Dennis Lehane and have read the entire series with ...
By Sunny
I love Dennis Lehane and have read the entire series with the characters, Kenzie and Gennaro. I'm sad that this is the last book, as Kenzie decided to retire and take care of his little family. I am going to begin reading the Coughlin series ASAP! I love books in a series and it was great being able to see the progression of Kenzie's and Gennaro's relationship.

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