PDF Ebook How Not to Write a Novel: 200 Classic Mistakes and How to Avoid Them--A Misstep-by-Misstep Guide, by Howard Mittelmark, Sandra Newman
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How Not to Write a Novel: 200 Classic Mistakes and How to Avoid Them--A Misstep-by-Misstep Guide, by Howard Mittelmark, Sandra Newman
PDF Ebook How Not to Write a Novel: 200 Classic Mistakes and How to Avoid Them--A Misstep-by-Misstep Guide, by Howard Mittelmark, Sandra Newman
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"What do you think of my fiction book writing?" the aspiring novelist extorted.
"Darn," the editor hectored, in turn. "I can not publish your novel! It is full of what we in the business call 'really awful writing.'"
"But how shall I absolve this dilemma? I have already read every tome available on how to write well and get published!" The writer tossed his head about, wildly.
"It might help," opined the blonde editor, helpfully, "to ponder how NOT to write a novel, so you might avoid the very thing!"
Many writing books offer sound advice on how to write well. This is not one of those books. On the contrary, this is a collection of terrible, awkward, and laughably unreadable excerpts that will teach you what to avoid—at all costs—if you ever want your novel published.
In How Not to Write a Novel, authors Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman distill their 30 years combined experience in teaching, editing, writing, and reviewing fiction to bring you real advice from the other side of the query letter. Rather than telling you how or what to write, they identify the 200 most common mistakes unconsciously made by writers and teach you to recognize, avoid, and amend them. With hilarious "mis-examples" to demonstrate each manuscript-mangling error, they'll help you troubleshoot your beginnings and endings, bad guys, love interests, style, jokes, perspective, voice, and more. As funny as it is useful, this essential how-NOT-to guide will help you get your manuscript out of the slush pile and into the bookstore.
- Sales Rank: #79232 in Books
- Brand: Mittelmark, Howard/ Newman, Sandra
- Published on: 2008-04-01
- Released on: 2008-04-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.00" h x .61" w x 5.31" l, .45 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 272 pages
Review
“The teaching of creative writing just entered a whole new era with the publication of How Not to Write a Novel. Heavens, what a joy this book is….” (Lynne Truss)
Authors and editors Mittlemark and Newman identify writing pitfalls in each aspect of novel writing…. A great resource, this tongue-in-cheek guide is a fun read with a lot of solid advice for would-be novelists. (Publishers Weekly)
This writing how-to should carry a warning: it’s the kind of book one reads at the expense of other responsibilities….a surprisingly distinctive approach within the crowded category of novel-writing guides. (Library Journal)
“[A] hilarious, wickedly observed and deeply useful guide.” (The Observer, review by Kate Saunders)
“Sandra Newman and Howard Mittelmark have produced an invaluable guide.” (The Independent)
About the Author
Writer and editor Howard Mittelmark's book reviews and essays have appeared in the New York Times, Washington Post, Philadelphia Inquirer, Hollywood Reporter, Writer's Digest, and other publications. He is the author of the novel Age of Consent.
Sandra Newman is the author of The Only Good Thing Anyone Has Ever Done, which was short-listed for the Guardian First Book Award. She is also the author of the novel Cake; the memoir, Changeling; How Not to Write a Novel, an irreverent how-to guide with Howard Mittelmark; and The Western Lit Survival Kit. She lives in New York.
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Hilarious!
By H. Grove (errantdreams)
Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman give us a handy guide: How Not to Write a Novel: 200 Classic Mistakes and How to Avoid Them–A Misstep-by-Misstep Guide. The points it makes are dead-on, although with that many topics it shouldn’t be surprising that I disagreed with at least parts of several items. They have entertaining names for the problems they bring up, such as “The Long Runway.” They point out that in most books that include recounting a character’s childhood, it’s to no helpful purpose. They include the idea that you should be writing plots, not gripes.
It’s been a while since I last reviewed a writing book; I forgot how interesting they can be. The only thing that bugged me a bit in this one is the fact that some entries adhere to the book’s hilarious premise: i.e., encouraging the reader to use these types of bad writing in order to deliberately not get published. Unfortunately, some of the entries go back to ‘normal’, explaining what the writer should not do. It’s mildly confusing.
The “Benign Tumor” is a portion that can be cut out of the novel without harming the book as a whole. They point out that it’s primarily a problem of first drafts, but I’ve read books that would be much better if the author had cut out the first 10-30 percent of the book. The sample texts are made up by the authors and are one of my favorite parts of the book. They range from sly humor to utter hilarity.
They fully admit that these are ‘observations’ and not rules. And in some specific cases they talk about writers that made something work for them that really won’t work for most other authors, and explain why. There are sections on characterization (bad guys, sidekicks, ‘too good to be true’ protagonists, likable heroes), plotting, pacing, endings, dialogue, exposition, rendering foreign accents, style, interior monologues, and so on.
This is a delightful, fun book that left me laughing out loud. It also did a great job of firming up my notions of how these things don’t work.
25 of 25 people found the following review helpful.
Informative and Entertaining
By J. B. Pritchard
Pros: Offers advice in a non-absolutist, entertaining manner, clearly shows how misusing techniques can lead to disaster with humorous examples, has many, many tips.
Cons: Occasionally gets a bit too caught up in the humor and not enough on the advice.
This book offers a very large selection of things to avoid when writing your novel which is in many ways more helpful than all the books that tell you what to do. Most authors don't want to feel like they are writing to template and the writing process is different for each individual person, but it is also good to know what to avoid, what tends to make a novel unsuccessful. There is advice on many different aspects of writing a novel from plotting to writing to characters.
This book is also short on absolutes (though there are some). Many writing books declare dramatically that you should "never" do a certain thing and all the while I am naming half a dozen best selling and/or critically acclaimed novels that do just that. This book tends to acknowledge that some of its rules can be broken to good effect -- you just have to be careful how you do it.
The best feature, though, is the humor. The made up "examples" that the authors provide are hilarious and often give you a much more vivid picture of what is meant by the tip than the explanation alone. For a few of the tips, I think that the authors got a little too caught up in making the examples funny so that I would forget what I they were supposed to demonstrate, but this was rare.
A very non-pretentious, helpful read. So entertaining that I read through it in a day which I cannot say of any other writing books I've read. 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
A useful compilation of pitfalls for the new author
By Parker Rimes
A well done and breezy compilation of the pitfalls new authors fall into. Much of the information was old news to me, which isn't a fault of the author. I read dozens of how-to books before I put finger to keyboard. But I was pleased to be reminded of a whole bunch of traps I'd forgotten about. A useful, accessible book.
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